Monday, January 28, 2013

I Care What People Think

When this post originally came to my mind, I thought of titling it as "On Defining Myself as a Writer," but that's not the whole truth. The whole truth is that as much as I don't want to, I care what other people think. Yes, I give a damn, and it messes with my head, probably a little too much. 

When I announced back in August that I landed my dream job, I didn't realize how true that was until now when I come home physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, but most importantly, happy. Really, truly happy. However, recently, I've found myself in social situations where I say excitedly and proudly where I work and what I do, and the response degrades my enthusiasm...and my pride. 

Besides my full-time 10 to 6 career, I define myself as a writer. (I am published, you know!) And as I listened to a conversation over the weekend, I heard one person comment on how their friend, "a writer," had recently published a book, which I think is very cool. But it was the way that this person said the word writer, as though that wasn't a career or that it wasn't something acceptable to be, that this got under my skin. So I kept quiet about how I'm in the midst of writing a novel or that I'm already published. 

My mind has mulled over these specific moments countless times. Getting those looks of "how cute" or "how nice for you" when I tell people about my career has made me feel inferior, unaccomplished and, worst of all, insecure. But why? Why should I care what someone in passing thinks of my job, my career, my passion? Honestly, I don't know, but I do. 

So as much as I would love to say, oh I don't care what other people think of me, I do care. Will these thoughts and looks change my career path and passion? No. But I have let them get to me? Probably a little too much. Maybe if I focus on just being, I won't focus on caring so much, but I think that will be a forever work in progress. 

I am a writer. I'm proud to be a writer. I'm proud of where I work and what I do. And I will try my hardest not to let what other people think of that get to me. 

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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Attempted Pinterest Recipes

As part of my 25 Before 25 list, I'm trying out at least 25 recipes from my Pinterest board. Below are some of the recipes that I've tried out with a few little comments below on which I liked (and didn't like). So I'm linking up with Michelle for "Oh How Pinteresting!" Wednesday.

"Veggie-strone"
Pinterest via EatingWell
I never follow recipes exactly, so I added in some veggie bow-ties and used spicy diced tomatoes, but this recipe was a success! I cut the recipe in half, and we still froze tons of it because it made so much. Definitely try this one out!

"Healthy Fruit Snacks"
Pinterest via Thank Your Body
Fail. Maybe it was that I didn't use the same fruits, but The consistency did not turn out like how those look. The top hardened and the button was like really gooey... It could be that I didn't follow the recipes well enough, but I don't think I'll be trying this one out again.

"Homemade Chicken Nuggets"
Pinterest via Six Sisters Stuff
Holy crap were these good! I'm going to need to double this recipe next time so that I can freeze half. They were amazing right out the oven and tasted like better chicken nuggets (and healthier too!). If you're going to eat them leftover, definitely put them in the oven, not the microwave.

"Fast and Easy Bread"
Pinterest via Dagmar's Home
This is a must try! I actually ended up letting it sit overnight because of how busy our Saturday was, but I baked it early one Sunday morning. M and I went through an entire loaf in a day, it was that good! Fortunately, it made two loaves, so we're still working on the second one. If you want to make an easy bread, give this recipe a try!
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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Meet Whiskey












This is Whiskey, my sister's dog, but more importantly, Louie's most very best friend! As much as we can, we try to get together so that they can play. (And I also get to spend time with my sister and family.) On Sunday, we took a nice long walk on the golf course so that they could play. Here are some of the shots that I got of Whiskey. My favorite is the last one!
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Monday, January 21, 2013

#2 Learn to make croquettes




On Sunday night, M and I crossed off the second item on my list to complete before my 25th birthday. We had my parents and sister over for dinner for some delicious croquettes and fried chicken. (Yes, we own a deep fryer.) We decided on fried chicken because we were already going to have the fryer out for the croquettes, so why not just make an extra unhealthy, yet tasty meal? It was great getting to spend time with family and enjoy some delicious food. This is the recipe that we followed for the croquettes.
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Friday, January 18, 2013

Be.

As I've started to get excited about this new year, I've come up with an extension to my words "just be." I've come up with 13 stand alones in addition to my thought on the year, and I wanted to share them with you all to help hold myself accountable.
Designed by Amanda Romaniello. If you'd like to use this, please give me credit. Thanks!
Or if you'd like a copy of this in a different color, just email me!
Each of these has a different significance to me than it may for you, but also multiple meanings within. All of these words are meant to keep in check, focus better and just be me. I plan to print this out, frame it and hang it up in the work-in-progress gallery wall that I've been collecting art and items for.

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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Because Sometimes You Just Need Chocolate Chip Cookies


Even though it's already Thursday, I feel like it's taken forever to get to the end of the week. I've been really busy at work, which I love, but I still feel like I just needed a pick-me-up. So last night, I whipped out my fabulous KitchenAid to make some chocolate chip cookies.






Yes, that's melted Heath bar you're looking at.


And they were unbelievably satisfying. So all I have to say is that sometimes you just need to bake (and eat) chocolate chip cookies. Oh and I somewhat followed this recipe if you were wondering.

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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

On Fear

I'm not really sure how to begin this post other than that fear has made itself at home in my head and my heart.  All of the "what ifs" swirl around in my mind, taunting me for hours. I've had a lot of trouble sleeping, which hadn't been a problem for me since college. I used sleeping pills then, and slowly, with my therapist's and doctor's supervision, weened myself off them.

But that tossing and turning, can't fall asleep or stay asleep has returned with a vengeance. I'm having nightmares, really strange nightmares. And maybe it's that I've been fighting a sinus infection, but let's be serious, that's not keeping me up at night. It's fear.

Fear of the future, fear of the past, and a great fear of the unknown. If you asked me if I was afraid of anything, I'd either respond with scorpions or a blatant lie of nothing at all. So as I write this that I'm admitting that I have fears.

I've convinced myself that these fears are normal and natural, which I'm sure they are, but you never know. I guess knowing that life is going to change creates some fear in me that I didn't expect to show up at my doorstep, so now it's just time to figure out how to kick it out of my life or live with it.

Now that I've admitted my fear, I need to accept it for what it is in order to move forward.

Has fear ever found itself a home in you?

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