Hi. My name is Amanda, and I'm a mental runner. I'd like to catch you all up on life lately. I'd like to post all the amazing photos from L&T's wedding, K&J's wedding and the engagement photos that I took of K&M last weekend, but I need to get something off my chest.
I'm a mental runner. Despite normal aches and pains for running with me, I find that my mind and heart get very much in the way of my actual strength and ability for my passion.
Today, I completed my third 20 mile long run of this training cycle. As I mentioned in a previous post, I cried multiple times during that first 20 miler. Then my second one went swimmingly well. I plowed through the first 7.5 miles, enjoyed about 6 miles with my dad as he biked, then finished up with no tears.
Today was a different story. Today there were a lot of tears. Despite having my dad join me 7.5 miles in the midst of my run, we did hill repeats again. Not just any hills, those long, slow inclines that feel like they're never going to end. And just when you get back to the bottom, you're going up again.
It was hard.
Then, when I left my parents' house, I found myself struggling through. I fought the tears through the first 18, but I couldn't get over how damn hard running for 3 hours felt...physically and mentally. Why does my mind get in the way of my body?
I knew I would be tacking on more than 20 if I ran all the way home, so I had M pick me up at 20.36 miles. And I didn't just cry, I sobbed. Does this get easier? Why is this so hard? I feel so defeated.
I ran the whole run about 15 seconds slower than was scheduled, but at this point, I need the reminder of why I started this in the first place. I feel very negative writing this (and whiney), but I needed to post the truth.
For someone who loves to run as much as I do, this is one of the most challenging things I've ever done, physically and mentally. I know that when November 3rd comes, it's going to be one of the happiest days of my life because this is me running my dream race. But for now, any veteran marathoners have some words of wisdom for this rookie mental runner?