But that tossing and turning, can't fall asleep or stay asleep has returned with a vengeance. I'm having nightmares, really strange nightmares. And maybe it's that I've been fighting a sinus infection, but let's be serious, that's not keeping me up at night. It's fear.
Fear of the future, fear of the past, and a great fear of the unknown. If you asked me if I was afraid of anything, I'd either respond with scorpions or a blatant lie of nothing at all. So as I write this that I'm admitting that I have fears.
I've convinced myself that these fears are normal and natural, which I'm sure they are, but you never know. I guess knowing that life is going to change creates some fear in me that I didn't expect to show up at my doorstep, so now it's just time to figure out how to kick it out of my life or live with it.
Now that I've admitted my fear, I need to accept it for what it is in order to move forward.
Has fear ever found itself a home in you?
15 comments:
fear is paralyzing, and I've definitely had many a night like that. so I know about what you speak.
I really have no words of advice, but can just give you a big virtual hug xoxo
I have a hard time with fear and worrying, especially when it comes to my husband. Now I use the mantra, when I worry/let fear consume me, I am giving the devil the upper hand and satisfaction. This has helped calm my soul and mind a LOT!
Sorry if this is weird because we're coworkers (I feel like a weird blog stalker!), but I absolutely know where you're coming from. I struggle with a lot of anxiety and fear, and I can honestly say that sometimes the best thing for me is knowing a) I'm not crazy! and b) Other people feel the same way. You are strong and smart, and you'll handle it one step at a time.
It happens to everyone! It's just figuring out how to channel it into something good
I have fears, and I worry a lot! It's very hard to overcome or take your mind off of whatever you're fearing. I really love these quotes though. They help me over come my worries.
"Once we are in Christ, Satan has no authority to destroy us, so he settles for the next best thing: threatening to destroy us."
"No one welcomes suffering. Equally, no one can wholly avoid it. Though most of what we fear never happens, our lists roll out so long that some of it probably will. Our only steadfast defenses against life's certain uncertainty is unconditional trust in a Savior who loves us more that His own life."
I hope they help you too.
...sorry so long!
I'm sorry you aren't getting any sleep...and it's hard not to have fears...I definitely have fears for my boys and what the future holds for them. I don't want anything to hurt them or steal their innocence but I know they grow up and I can't keep them in a bubble. Hoping you get some rest soon!
Oh no! Plus I bet when you don't sleep well that effects your day and the next night's rest and it's like a bad cycle. Hope you get some rest soon!
I have really struggled with fear in the past. For me, it was learning to let go and trust God to take care of things. I hope you are able to get back into a good sleeping pattern, friend.
I've always thought a big step in dealing with fears is just admitting you have them, so well done! I am a total control freak so I fear a lot when situations are out of my hands or just the great unknown. I'm not much of a religious talker or even church-goer, but a few years ago when I was really having a difficult time with stress/worry/fear, I would turn it into a prayer. It's really helped clear my head and I feel so much more calm. Don't get me wrong - the fears and worries are still there, but I am much less anxious about them. Best of luck to you in getting a good night's rest - soon!
I'm right there with you, girl. My sleeplessness comes and goes, but when it's here, it's devastating to lay awake and think about the fears I have.
I get very paranoid especially at night. So many worries to make me nervous
I am tossing and turning too. And having these weird panic attacks a few times a week. I want to say it's anxiety. it's Alaska. It's army stuff. It's stress. But all of that HAS to go back to fear right??
Fear of not having done enough, fear of not being enough right now, fear of not amounting to enough in the future.
I just weaned myself off of some really mild anxiety pills. It's definitely not an easy process.
Hoping you get some peace soon, friend!
Nope. Ok, well that's a bit of a lie but I don't like fear control my actions.
Fear is an interpretation of bodily responses to environmental stimuli. I ignore the fear, objectively look at what is causing my body to react in this way, and act on it in what will hopefully be efficient.
Brooke Houston straight up gave me chills with her comment.
Fear is a funny thing, how it just sets up shop. I think there's power in standing in our truths, whatever they may be, looking them in the eye, and then deciding on a course of action that's right for the individual. We all have different fears, they come from different places, and so we deal with them differently—but support one another all the same.
I also think that God doesn't want us to fear, so that we can enjoy life, and He'll do anything in His power to help us. But those are just my beliefs. Our ultimate purpose isn't fear, and therefore we will always have the power to overcome it.
I can totally relate. I have anxiety and I've been many of sleepless nights fearing the worst. Luckily, it's better now but fear is no way to live.
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