When this post originally came to my mind, I thought of titling it as "On Defining Myself as a Writer," but that's not the whole truth. The whole truth is that as much as I don't want to, I care what other people think. Yes, I give a damn, and it messes with my head, probably a little too much.
When I announced back in August that I landed my dream job, I didn't realize how true that was until now when I come home physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, but most importantly, happy. Really, truly happy. However, recently, I've found myself in social situations where I say excitedly and proudly where I work and what I do, and the response degrades my enthusiasm...and my pride.
Besides my full-time 10 to 6 career, I define myself as a writer. (I am published, you know!) And as I listened to a conversation over the weekend, I heard one person comment on how their friend, "a writer," had recently published a book, which I think is very cool. But it was the way that this person said the word writer, as though that wasn't a career or that it wasn't something acceptable to be, that this got under my skin. So I kept quiet about how I'm in the midst of writing a novel or that I'm already published.
My mind has mulled over these specific moments countless times. Getting those looks of "how cute" or "how nice for you" when I tell people about my career has made me feel inferior, unaccomplished and, worst of all, insecure. But why? Why should I care what someone in passing thinks of my job, my career, my passion? Honestly, I don't know, but I do.
So as much as I would love to say, oh I don't care what other people think of me, I do care. Will these thoughts and looks change my career path and passion? No. But I have let them get to me? Probably a little too much. Maybe if I focus on just being, I won't focus on caring so much, but I think that will be a forever work in progress.
I am a writer. I'm proud to be a writer. I'm proud of where I work and what I do. And I will try my hardest not to let what other people think of that get to me.
10 comments:
I think it is incredible that you're published and writing a novel! That's awesome!
You should be incredibly proud of all your accomplishments. Really proud.
That said, I get the same strange reactions and you have even more credibility than me as a writer.
it's so hard not to let it bother you - but good that you recognize that you care - that way it doesnt control you!
excited for your novel :)
Say WHAT? I think it's a major accomplishment and a "real job" that you are a writer and published...b/c it is something I can't do and am totally jealous!
You'll find harsh critics out of every corner and cranny, because it's oddly easier for someone to be negative than to say something positive. At least when it comes to writing and entertainment.
Wow. I feel like people these days judge everyone for anything they are willing to put out there.
I am most definitely *not* a writer, so I have a lot of admiration and appreciation for those who are. I think it takes a lot to be a writer, and you certainly have a LOT to be proud of!!
I think it's AMAZING that you are a writer and I admire your passion and talent. And if anyone tries to degrade that, it's because of their own insecurities!
I run into similar reactions when I tell people I teach kindergarten. It's like they think I'm incapable of being intelligent because I work with 5 year olds all day! It can be really upsetting too, so I can understand! Don't let it get to you!
Congrats on achieving your goals!
HOWWW did I miss this post? First of all, being a writer is unlike a lot of other jobs. You don't pick it: it picks you. It's not a job, it's a vocation. It doesn't have set hours, because something could strike at anytime.
I've seen your list of publications. It's lengthy. As is your goals list—since you're so freaking driven.
While I understand why you'd feel uneasy, you have nothing to be insecure about. These people should feel completely insecure about their etiquette and lack of manners.
You do you. Love you.
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