1 year, 4 months, and a day since we first met.
Those years, months, and days don't seem like a lot in the grand scheme of things considering I've been alive for almost 24 years now. But knowing that we have not only loved one another, but worked hard to grow together as a couple from a distance makes me feel incredibly grateful.
My parents dated long distance when they first started out, and it wasn't until 3 years later when they were married that they lived together in the same city. I admire them. They've been happily married for more than 25 years, and I know that M and I were meant to start out this way. Because we love each other and want to be together, it forced us to grow up and helped me change.
I never thought that one person could have a big enough place in my heart to make me want to be better, not just for him, but for myself. So here are some of the many things that I learned about me, continue to work on, and try to improve.
1. I dropped my passive aggressive habits. For a long time, I was (and still can be) extremely passive aggressive. But acting that way does not solve problems, and it's even harder to deal with someone acting this way from a distance. So instead of pretending like something's fine, even when it's not, I forced myself to communicate.
2. Communication is probably the biggest thing I learned about what a healthy relationship needs to thrive. If something bothered me, I would tell him. If something I liked happened, I would tell him. If something upset me or hurt my feelings, I would tell him. If I needed something different or more, I would tell him. This was not easy, and I still struggle with it, but I continue to communicate.
3. Along with communication came the promise of never lying to him. No matter how big or small, I promised I would not lie. And so, I haven't lied. I haven't said "I'm fine," if I'm not. And I haven't told him that I wanted to do something, if I didn't. Honesty is a major key.
4. I get disappointed far too easily, especially when it came to seeing (or not seeing) M. And it would always send me into lots of tears. This isn't something I'm proud of, but it's something that makes me who I am. The amount that I feel heightened And being in a long distance relationship helped me embrace those feelings instead of trying to stuff them away.
There are many other things that I've learned along the way, and I will continue to learn, but these were the front runners. Compromise, honesty, communication, trust, and love are those major things in life that can make many miles not seem so far away. Fortunately, I get to see my M every day now, but I'm grateful that we had this learning process too.
