Thursday, May 17, 2012
What My Twenties *Are* Teaching Me
As inspired by Sarah's post (and series), let me preface this by saying that, I'm freshly turned 24. Yes, 24. But just looking back on since I turned 20, a ton has changed. This is probably the most raw and unfiltered post I've shared on my blog. Maybe one day, I'll share more details of these events, maybe I won't. But some life events forced me to decide between letting the experience defeat me or strengthen me.
I choose strength, always.
When I turned 20, I thought I had the best birthday of my life. I was wrong. Each new birthday gets better and better. It's okay to be wrong.
When I was 20, I went to my first funeral for my great Aunt and sat in the front as the immediate family. Little did I know that this funeral was preparing me for the next two years of my life. I learned that sometimes seeing the pain of loss in the one's you love can be unbearable.
It's okay to cry.
When I was 20 and a half, my boyfriend, at the time, died of SADS. I broke and lost myself to depression. I thought he was my great love. I was wrong about this one too. Your loved ones, both family and friends, are in your life for the little and big stuff, so let them help. It's okay to ask for help and let the people who love you take care of you. It doesn't make you any less of a person. And life is short, so live in the moment and try new things.
When I was nearly 21, I totaled my 10-year-old Volvo wagon. Sometimes the universe will send us wake up calls or signs. This was mine, and I'm so grateful I woke up.
When I turned 21, I had another fantastic birthday celebration. And I finally started to feel like me again. I even wore a crown. It's okay to wear a crown no matter how old you're turning.
When I was 21, I went back to an old flame. It's okay to go backwards to move forwards. And it's okay if you realize that you need to let them go.
When I was 21 and about to start my senior year of college, death visited unexpectedly again. A best girl friend who taught me how to put on makeup, flirt with boys, and really live life, was taken from this world in a car accident. Don't hold back, live life. But more importantly, always wear your seat belt.
When I was 21, I severely dislocated my kneecap. I couldn't bend my knee for 3 weeks and spent months re-learning how to walk motivated by knowing that I would one day run again. For the workout fiends like me, it's okay to not be able to exercise. And make sure to thank your physical therapist.
When I was 22, I no longer needed to see my therapist anymore. After four intense years of therapy, my therapist was now a friend who helped me change for the better. It's okay to work with a therapist. Therapy works wonders, if you're willing to work on yourself.
When I was 22 and a few weeks before graduation, death greeted me again. An adviser, who worked with me through my honors thesis, never got to see my completed magazine. Appreciate your teachers, they'll help you in more than just school work.
When I was 22, I moved back home and started a new job that was exactly what I needed after graduation. Entering the real world is a big change.Do what's right for you, even if that means moving in with your parents.
When I was 22, I met the love of my life, but it wasn't quite a fairy tale. Sometimes you have to let go of your first love, let go of any guilt, and let yourself fall. Even if it means doing long distance, open your heart because when you find the one, don't let him go.
When I turned 23, I finally accepted that it's okay to not have lots of friends. The ones who are really your friends will be there no matter what, and these friends include your parents.
When I was 23, I started this little blog of mine. What started as an outlet for my writing, turned into something so much greater: a family of blog friends. It doesn't matter where your friends are in the world, or if you haven't met in real life, a friend is a friend is a friend.
When I was 23, I changed jobs even though my first job had people that became a second family. It's okay to cry about leaving a job and starting a new one.
When I was 23, the long distance ended, and M and I moved in together. It's okay to cry tears of joy.
When I was 23, I began to really focus on my life goals, most especially my writing. Sometimes we just need a little encouragement and to believe in ourselves. It's okay if you don't focus on your passion as much as you should, just so long as you start at some point and don't lose sight of your dreams.
When I was 24......to be continued.
Posted by Amanda at Thursday, May 17, 2012